I recently saw a short video featuring the actor, director, and writer Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live, Barry). In it, he is talking about the process of writing, and how to make what you write better. But what he says has application to many areas where we receive feedback.
Here’s what he says:
“When people give you notes on something, when they tell you what’s wrong, they’re usually right. When they tell you how to fix it, they’re wrong.”
This really resonates with me. Sometimes when I am working with a client on a high-stakes presentation or keynote, they are getting input from other sources as well. And as Bill Hader says, the source is often correct when they identify something that isn’t working, but the suggestion they give to fix it falls flat.
I suspect that this happens because the person offering the feedback a) has only subjective and personal experience to offer as a solution, and b) hasn’t spent time getting inside the process to see how the content and delivery are working together. They offer a surface solution to a complex problem.
So what should we do when we’re the ones offering feedback? It can feel bad to point out what’s not working and not offer a solution, which is why many people do make some kind of suggestion. But instead, what if we ask questions? “This transition seems clunky. What would you like to have happen here?”
And when we’re the ones receiving the feedback, be proactive about how you position their input. You can say, “Describe the impact of my speech on you” rather than “I’d love your feedback.” When we ask people to describe their experience, they are activating a different part of their brains than the more critical “feedback brain,” and we can get insight that’s more useful than a quick trick.
