“The last thing in the world that I want when I’m onstage is to be boring.”
A client said this to me recently during a conversation we were having about the challenge she’s facing as she tries to shift the presentation culture of her nonprofit. “When we talk about this, they say all the right things, but then everyone’s reports and presentations stay just the same. I don’t get it.”
This client is unusual (but not unique) in that she thinks about the audience first, and she doesn’t experience the self-protective habits most people have when they are called upon to present. She is always looking for how she can bring the speech closer to the audience, engage them more, be even more conversational, be even more present.
“Most people aren’t like you,” I had to tell her. “You’re not making any headway because most people feel vulnerable when they’re speaking. Most people need to find ways to keep themselves safe. Most speakers rely on their notes or what they’ve memorized to keep a sense of security and control.”
I hoped she’d see not only that her colleagues are different from her in this way, but also that that is unlikely to change. Her innate orientation is simply not the same as theirs. That makes some aspects of giving a compelling presentation much more accessible to her. Okay, cool. As a friend of mine once said as we jogged an extremely slow 5k,”We have other gifts.”
So what can we do for my client, her organization, and her colleagues? First, it helps to acknowledge and name that most of us feel insecure in some way when we speak in public. Second, that insecurity leads us to act in ways (for example, rushing, being too quiet, wandering around the stage) that are directly opposed to our stated goal of engaging the audience. Third, we can change those counter-productive behaviors (if we want to) through coaching, intentional practice, and deep support from our peers.
No one intends to be boring onstage, but putting ourselves out there can be scary. It’s possible to find ways for everyone to be engaging and still feel safe.
