When you ask your friend for feedback about your presentation, the chances are good that they will let you know that a.) you did a good job (“no filler words!”), or b.) you were saying “um” or “uh” a lot, and you should stop doing that.
No offense to your friend, but none of this is very helpful.
Giving feedback about someone’s communication style and skill is hard because there are many variables, and it’s very subjective. The easiest way to feel like you’re offering something helpful is to mention this thing we’ve all heard a lot about—filler words. The um, uh, eh, sounds that take the place of a simple pause are the most demonized syllables around.
The filler words are a symptom. When you know exactly how you want to move or change or affect the people you’re talking to, they drop to a minimum. When you don’t, you’re less sure of what you want to say, so you tend to have more pauses and thus, more fillers.
Begin with the end in mind. Know exactly what you want to accomplish with what you are saying, and stop thinking about “um.”
If you are enjoying this newsletter, please feel free to forward it along! We love meeting new people 🙂
