“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw, the playwright, is credited with this quote. While neither he nor I can promise that this is, in fact, the single biggest problem in communication, it is a big one.

I see evidence of this all the time, at work and in my personal life. All it takes is for one person to think the other is totally following what they’re saying, and you’re set up for misunderstanding. We assume that, since we said/emailed/thought something, the communication is complete. As Shaw implies, that’s the illusion at work.

We can overcome this “single biggest problem” by working a little harder, repeating ourselves, saying things in different ways, choosing good times to communicate, and asking whether the people we’re talking to have questions about what we said.

We can make sure we’re not assuming that the communication is complete when all we’ve done is “transmit”— we’re not done until we have also received communication from the other party. Figure out what’s needed in order to be sure that the communication wasn’t an illusion.