A good friend and reader of this blog texted me the following (edited for clarity):
“Listening to a talk to get [continuing education credits]… The speaker keeps ending sentences with ‘…right?’
It makes me feel like she either feels insecure about what she’s saying, or she’s using a cheap way to be persuasive. It’s like a fake conversation because it’s not like I can really respond, and we’re a huge group over a screen. She’s not really asking me that so it’s ungenuine and weird and awkward.”
Oh, the plague of “right”! Full disclosure: I have definitely caught myself doing this, and at least one other Ignite coach is working on eliminating the “right” habit.
My friend’s text illuminates several things about why this habit is worth paying attention to. The first is that, while the speaker may barely notice that they’re doing it, the impact on the listener is, as my friend said, “ungenuine and weird and awkward.” The “right?” assumes agreement, as if what they have said is a foregone conclusion. If that’s so, you don’t need the “right?,” and if it’s not, the use of the word prevents disagreement or discussion.
In addition, this kind of “right?” doesn’t typically show up once or twice. No, it takes root and starts popping up every few sentences. Once we start hearing that strange tag, it’s hard to hear anything else.
Finally, this “right?” is serving the same purpose as many other filler phrases. It’s helping the speaker cover a pause instead of actually pausing, almost acting as punctuation. And as listeners, we really need the speaker to pause. We need the speaker to stop talking, just for a moment, so we can catch up. What we don’t need is a reflexive, kind of presumptuous “right?” that assumes our agreement, while the speaker races on to their next point.
If you, like I, find yourself peppering your talks with “right?,” I recommend slowing down a bit. When you feel that word wanting to sneak in, just pause. End your sentence. Let us agree with you on our own terms! (or not).
