The Problem with Prescribing Behavior

Clients often tell me the advice other people have given them about presentation skills. It’s almost always something that is prescriptive: either “do this” or “don’t do that.” 

This advice is small, it’s too granular. It addresses a single behavior, and it does it in a vacuum.

Do get rid of your filler words

Do make eye contact 

Don’t gesture too much

Don’t use an upward inflection unless you’re asking a question 

There are times when all of this advice is pertinent. There are also times when I coach clients to do the opposite.
Deciding on a specific rule that governs all circumstances is a shortcut. It eliminates nuance and creates predictability and sameness.

Instead, find a more holistic approach. When you consider your intention–the outcome you hope to generate, the relationship you want to create, or the way you hope to make someone feel—you can assess many behaviors together, in context. And more importantly, they’re more likely to lead to the change you hope to make.