It can be hard to say, “No, I’d rather not.” Or “Thank you for telling me about your offer, but I’m hiring someone else.” Or “You know, this is probably great for someone, but it’s not a fit for me.”
Since it feels bad, we often simply avoid the unpleasant task of telling someone “no thanks” by simply…never responding. Delete the follow-up email, let the call go to voicemail…just ghost and hope they get the hint.
But I want to suggest that it is kind to actively say no. It is generous to let someone know, nicely, that you won’t be hiring them, proceeding with their project, or promoting them to the position they want. From a logistical standpoint, you are doing them a favor by letting them know that they don’t need to follow up with you anymore. You’re freeing up their time and energy to pursue the next possibility. In addition, your feedback is a valuable resource for them. Is there something you can share that will help them in their next endeavor?
Finally, even though it can feel awkward, it’s good practice. Steering right into the discomfort of “No, we won’t be using you” shows you know that you can do it. You can give unwelcome news, disappoint people, and have hard conversations. Practice generously in these situations when you could duck the responsibility. Face it head-on, and let everyone move onto the next thing.
