When you’re in a meeting or presenting in front of a group, how much space are you taking up?
This may seem like a strange question, but here’s why I’m asking. Some people take up as little space as possible. They shrink into themselves, crossing or even twining their arms and legs to be smaller, ducking their heads, contracting their shoulders. Not coincidentally, these same folks typically speak quickly and softly and make very little eye contact. They’re hiding, as best they can, even when they’re speaking.
Other people take up as much space as they can. They stand or sit with their legs wide, they spread their stuff out on a meeting table, they use big gestures. Again, not surprisingly, these people talk more and louder, and they tend to use bigger gestures and other movements. They’re not hiding; they’re displaying.
There’s a middle ground where most of us will find what works for us, and for those listening to us. It occurs when we take up our own space, no more and no less.
What does this look like? How do we know when we’re doing it?
First, identify whether you tend to “go big” or “shrink to fit.” Once you know this, you can experiment with a few new behaviors. For example, maybe you know you tend to sit a little father back from a conference table, keeping your legs and arms crossed and your distance from others in the meeting. Next time, try pulling yourself right up to the table, planting your feet on the floor, and letting your hands rest on the table instead of in your lap. Sit forward in your chair, demonstrating your presence and engagement.
If you know you might be taking up more than your share of space, let your chair define your personal Goldilocks zone. Keep your limbs and gestures inside the plane of the chair and the area of the table that corresponds to that plane.
These are both examples of an “outside-in” approach to changing communication habits. By shifting some of your behaviors, we want to see if others follow suit. If you sit closer to the table and take up more space, what happens to your voice and your eye contact? If you pull in the limits of your space a bit, what happens to your volume and the length of time you spend talking? There’s not a direct correlation between one habit and another, but it’s very interesting to experiment and see what happens.
If you try it, I’d love to hear! Please share.
