The number one reason people are sent to us for coaching is this: “Person X needs to be more confident.”
I’m going to tell you a secret. No coach can give you more confidence. And? That’s not really what matters in this scenario.
When someone says “Hey, we need to get so-and-so some coaching so that they can speak with more confidence,” what they’re really saying is “I don’t feel confident about them when I listen to them speak.”
When you’re in the audience, you want a baseline level of confidence in the speaker you’re listening to. You want to trust that they know what they’re talking about, and that they’re not so nervous that you need to worry about whether they’ll make it through the talk. Once you’ve satisfied yourself on that front, you can settle in.
But here’s the thing. The speaker doesn’t have to feel confident in order to make the audience confident. The speaker merely has to behave confidently. Obviously, it would be better if both things were true, but if I have to pick, I’m picking the audience every time.
Instead of thinking about whether you feel confident, plan how you want the audience to feel. Be intentional about what you are creating for the people listening to you. The result will be that the audience trusts you, and, surprise! you may actually feel more confident. 🙂
