Our coaching approach boils down to these three concepts: intention, alignment, and practice. The answer to almost any question you ask me or another Ignite CSP coach about communicating is going to fall into one of these three buckets. Intention. Alignment. Practice.
This week’s blog posts are a review of these fundamental building blocks. Today, the spotlight is on practice. If you missed Monday’s post, you can read it here. If you missed Wednesday’s, it’s here.
Intention is the thing we want to happen as a result of what we communicate; it’s the outcome we are seeking.
Alignment is how the body and voice, the whole physical system, supports and conveys our intention.
Practice is just what it sounds like. It’s the way we get good at utilizing intention and alignment in our communication so that it becomes second nature.
I often think that practicing communication skills is kind of like going to a physical therapist. The PT is going to diagnose your issue, say a hip imbalance. They will work with you in the therapy session, and then they’re also going to give you some exercises to do and/or changes to institute in your daily life.
If you have a communication habit that isn’t effective, your coach will work with you in a coaching session to uncover the habit and start to neutralize it. The coach is also going to ask you to start practicing some new behaviors to support the work in the coaching sessions. For example, let’s say you want to change your habit of not taking up very much space when you are presenting. Currently, you cross your ankles and fold your arms whenever you feel like the eyes of the room are on you.
Your physical therapist doesn’t want you to wait to work on your hip imbalance until you are about to run a long race. You need to start shifting your behavior as early as possible, so you’re ready for the big day.
Similarly, I don’t want you to try to change your ankle-crossing and arm-folding the day before your presentation in front of the board of directors. I want you to start building a new behavior right away, in low-stakes situations, so you can get better and better at taking up space before the big presentation even comes onto your calendar.
By low-stakes situations, I mean every single time you notice you’re crossing your ankles or folding your arms. Standing in your colleague’s doorway to chat? Put both feet on the floor. Relaxing in a meeting? Unfold your arms. (Please note: I am not saying no one can ever use either of these behaviors. I’m saying that, in order to break the habit, we have to first develop an awareness of the habit, so we want to address it every time it comes up.)
Practice, y’all. I wish that intention and alignment on their own were enough, but thoughtful practice is the third step of the process. That’s how you build the skill and make the change.
