Don’t look at the rocks.

When I was learning to kayak, the instructor told me, “Don’t look at the rocks. You’ll naturally start to paddle towards whatever you’re looking at, so look at the open water. Don’t look at the rocks.”   We look at the rocks when we’re worried about what may happen. We think, “I might hit those, ... Continue Reading

I don’t want to tell you what to do.

Many people who coach public speaking or presentation skills are really into gestures and posture and when to move and when not to move.   Look, I’m a director. I have opinions about that stuff, too. But I’m not going to notice them if you are a.) connecting with me, b.) prepared, and c.) enthusiastic ... Continue Reading

Who cares?

If you try something new, and it goes great? If you try something new, and it’s a flop? If you’re afraid? If you’re confident? If you’re fooling yourself? If you’re leaving money on the table? If you’re not “living up to your potential”? Who are the people around you who cheer for you, who lean ... Continue Reading

Please practice.

“I’m better when I wing it.”   I want to unpack this whole sentence and give it a very close reading.   What does “I’m better” mean? Does it mean that you’re more dynamic, more engaging? Does it mean you’re more comfortable?   What does “better,” on its own, mean?   Is your audience having ... Continue Reading

“Just don’t make me do the icebreaker exercise…”

“It’s the weirdest thing. I can give a high-stakes presentation to a roomful of decision-makers and I’m fine, but if I’m in a group and we have to go around the room and introduce ourselves and say a few words, I’m a nervous wreck!”   This comment from a client I was talking to recently ... Continue Reading

It’s all there for a reason.

When you watch a play or a movie or a TV show, someone has made a decision about everything you see and hear. The color of the sofa cushions, the angles at which the furniture sits, the scuff marks on the shoes, a pause before a line, characters interrupting each other…every one of those decisions ... Continue Reading

Why is it scary to stand up and talk to a room full of people?

After all, the mechanics are the same. It’s not about the talking; we do that all day long. It’s not about the standing; we stand around in kitchens and living rooms at friends’ houses and talk with no problem.   It’s about being the center of attention. When you’re the only person standing in a ... Continue Reading

Putting in the boring work.

When you have to learn a new piece of software, do you sit down and watch all the videos and really put it through its paces so you know what it can do? Or do you, like me, impatiently learn the bare minimum that will allow you to do the thing you got the software ... Continue Reading

I’m going down in flames!

As promised, I’m responding to some reader questions in December. This one’s from Stephen: You’re prepared and well-rehearsed… and a minute into your presentation, you feel like you’re bombing. What do you do? Are there strategies that can help avoid a total collapse?   This is such a bad feeling, especially when you’ve prepared well. ... Continue Reading

Everybody is busy.

When someone says, “How are you?” what do you say? Fine. Good. Busy. Here’s the thing. We’re all busy. Answering “busy” has become a non-answer, another “fine.” Plus, it’s a conversation-killer with the added threat of initiating a which-person-is-busier escalation. What can you say instead? How can we turn a routine exchange into something with ... Continue Reading