“I do not want to be here!”

We are wired to pick up cues about people around us from many sources, not just, and not primarily, the words themselves.  Start noticing how often you respond, not to the words someone says, but to something you notice about the way those words are delivered. My guess is that you do it almost all ... Continue Reading

Getting to the parking lot first.

Infrequently, we assemble in the same place at the same time to experience something together. Usually these occasions are rituals of some kind– graduations, funerals, religious services, sporting events, weddings, the fifth grade musical…It takes an event with a lot of pull to get that many people to share the same place for the same ... Continue Reading

human connection versus the global machine

Recently I went out of town overnight, and I chose a hotel that isn’t part of a chain. I hesitated for a while before I chose it. It was a little less expensive than a chain, but not so much as to be worrying. It was close to where I needed to be. The photos ... Continue Reading

Blind spots.

Blind spots.   When we’re driving, they’re that place in the neighboring lane where we can’t see what lurks. Is there a Honda Civic sitting there, just waiting to honk if we try to change lanes?   In your home, you may have blind spots, too. A corner that’s neglected, that has had the same ... Continue Reading

Not the same.

“I worried a lot about this” isn’t the same as “I prepared.”

Go with it.

today’s blog is being typed with one hand, laptop perched on the arm of a couch. our puppy, Ollie, who usually sleeps through my morning writing session, is up early today and can’t seem to settle anywhere but mostly on top of my left hip, leaning into my arm. what to do? this is my ... Continue Reading

What do we mean when we talk about intention?

In our coaching approach, your intention drives everything about your communication. It’s the engine, it’s the reason you are speaking.   Intention is the way you want to affect the person you are speaking to. Put another way, what do you want to change by speaking? what do you want to happen?   I’m bringing this up because ... Continue Reading

Getting it right isn’t good enough.

Wow, do we like to get it right in a presentation.   Often, this looks like offering a lot of coverage of a subject. We say we’re being informative. But in this day and age, we don’t need to be informative in a presentation or talk; we have the internet for that. And more to ... Continue Reading

The moment before

There’s a moment right before you say something. A moment when you’re drawing in breath to speak, when you can alter the course of what’s coming next. In that moment, where are you? What are you thinking about?   Are you two steps down the road of the discussion you’re having, trying to win an ... Continue Reading

“What it’s for” versus “What it’s about”

What is this communication for?   What do you hope to achieve? How do you want the person you’re talking to to feel as a result of what you say? What do you want them to do, or think? What result are you trying to create?   This is intention. When you say what you ... Continue Reading