Just say “okay,” and do it.

Confession time: Last week I was at the gym, in the middle of a long, fatiguing workout. Our coach told me to change something I was doing so I could improve my performance. I said “Okay.” In that split second after I said it, I realized that I almost never do that—just say okay and ... Continue Reading

When in doubt…

When in doubt, remember:   It’s not about you.   That presentation, that difficult conversation, that speech—it’s not about you. Even when the topic is you, it’s not about you.   It’s about the person or people you’re talking to. That’s what they’re thinking about, so that’s what you should be thinking about.

The freedom of July 4

Today’s the day folks in the U.S. celebrate our freedom from the tyranny of English rule. July 4, the signing of the Declaration of Independence. I think a lot of us are uneasy with freedoms; we like to be told what to do, how and when to do it. We want to fit in, so ... Continue Reading

What we walk around with.

I started seeing a physical therapist recently for some back pain I’ve been having. In the course of our initial session, she pointed out that, even when I reported to her that I was totally relaxed, I was holding tension in different parts of my body. It wasn’t until she gently touched the areas in ... Continue Reading

What if it’s not?

About five years ago I was working with a coach. In one of our sessions, I was talking about something I should probably do, a task that seemed easy, but that I had a lot of anxiety about. “It’s just going to be so hard!,” I remember saying. What he said next has stuck with ... Continue Reading

Which work?

When you start your workday, how do you know what to do first?   Maybe you start at the top of your to-do list. Or you go to a meeting. Maybe the bell rings and the students come in, and you start the lesson. Or the sign turns from “Closed” to “Open”, and you ring ... Continue Reading

Authenticity

A few years ago my colleague Neela was coaching a man, Luis, who was preparing a big promotion speech to present to the senior leaders at his company. They worked for a couple of months, and Neela told me Luis was doing a great job—knowledgable, capable, prepared. But when he did a dry run of ... Continue Reading

When?

I finished reading Daniel Pink’s new book last week. It’s called “When,” and in it, he dives into the research regarding not what or how we do things, but (you guessed it) when we do them, and why it matters.   One of the most resonant things I took away from the book was that trying ... Continue Reading

Communicating vs. transmitting

The school system where I live is big on sending out messages. I get texts, emails, app notifications, and calls every day, often multiple times a day, from my kids’ school as well as from the district, usually repeating the same information.   What are they telling me? Which buses in the district are running ... Continue Reading

Rituals

A ritual often marks a transition, moving from one state of being into another. For example, marriage is a ritual, in which two single people are joined. Commencement is a ritual, signaling that the people who used to be students are now fit to be at the next level.  Saying the pledge of allegiance is ... Continue Reading