Communication is a full-body activity

Most people think of talking as something that starts in your brain and issues from your mouth. Even when we acknowledge that body language and other nonverbals are important, we still don’t spend much energy integrating our words and our nonverbals. But the words someone speaks are only as important as their delivery. In fact, ... Continue Reading

One important tip for leading online discussions–

My top recommendation for leading online meetings is this: Give more space for silence when you’re inviting others to speak. A few seconds of silence can feel like a long time to wait for someone to speak up. But remember, your internal “that’s long enough to wait before things get awkward” meter is calibrated to ... Continue Reading

Practicing is not (usually) that fun.

There is a certain moment that frequently happens in a coaching session. It comes fairly early, after the small talk, when I say, “Okay, great. Let’s dive into your presentation.” At least 60% of the time, the client says, “Wait, now?” Yep, now. The way to get better is to practice, with targeted and expert ... Continue Reading

What do cooking and public speaking have in common?

What do cooking and public speaking have in common? Ignite CSP president Angie Flynn-McIver has a few thoughts…

It’s time to get great at public speaking.

Our clients fall (broadly speaking) into two categories. The first: People who dislike public speaking, and they have been successful at avoiding it throughout their careers. Now an opportunity has come up that requires they do more speaking, and they don’t feel they have the skills to do it well or happily, so they come ... Continue Reading

What’s really happening when we tell ourselves we can’t

A few years ago, I was coaching a woman I had been working with for several months. She had a high-stakes presentation coming up, and it was starting to sound like she wasn’t going to be able to do it. I don’t mean “she wouldn’t be able to do a good job.” I mean, she ... Continue Reading

“When” can be as important as “what”

During the months of COVID, I have sometimes noticed a particular dynamic when I talk to my husband, Charlie.  Here’s what happens: We’ve each been working alone in our offices for hours. We happen to cross paths in the kitchen, refilling coffee mugs or making lunch. I’m excited to see him, and I start talking ... Continue Reading

Private speaking vs. public speaking

In some important ways, all communication is the same.  We are always speaking in order to fulfill a need. The need might be small and transactional: “Please pass the salt.” It might be life-changing: “Will you marry me?” And of course, most of what we say in our lives falls somewhere in the middle of ... Continue Reading

The doing is the practice

The doing is the practice. When we’re coaching, we teach clients the best ways to practice for a presentation or a speech. But the real truth is—every day is a chance to practice.  Every conversation is a chance to practice intention. How am I hoping to affect the person I’m talking to? Am I being ... Continue Reading

Being mean online is bad for us.

We all have a “gatekeeper muscle” that helps us decide what to say, and when, and how.  When a stimulus comes into our brain, it sits at an intersection, staffed by the gatekeeper. In one direction is our default reaction, our judgmental, quick, knee-jerk response. This one lives for the short-term, the “like,” the laugh. ... Continue Reading