You can’t really know your audience

One of the most common pieces of advice on public speaking is to “know your audience.” Experts advise the aspiring speaker to think about the audience they’ll be addressing, do some research, and tailor their speech to the group. In a broad sense, there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s important to know if you’re talking ... Continue Reading

Tell your team that their work matters

One tricky element of being on a team that works remotely is that all the incidental ways people can interact are stripped away. There are no chats by the coffeemaker or spontaneous lunches. You don’t catch up while you’re on the elevator or grab a couple of extra minutes to talk after a meeting while ... Continue Reading

What to do about the mean face in the audience

Have you ever looked out at the audience while you were speaking and seen someone whose expression looks like they’re thinking, “Why did I ever come here, and why is this person talking”? I have. I can be at the top of my game, getting nods, smiles, and laughs from the rest of the audience, ... Continue Reading

The kindness of saying “no”

It can be hard to say, “No, I’d rather not.” Or “Thank you for telling me about your offer, but I’m hiring someone else.” Or “You know, this is probably great for someone, but it’s not a fit for me.”  Since it feels bad, we often simply avoid the unpleasant task of telling someone “no ... Continue Reading

“Next time.”

“I’ll take care of that next time.” “I’ll work on it next time.” “I’ll make sure that happens next time.” When we do something and learn from it, knowing we can improve when we do it again, that’s a great use of “next time.” But when we already know we could do better and we ... Continue Reading

“This carabiner is too small.”

When he and I were first dating, my husband Charlie worked at an outdoor sports equipment store in New York. He collected funny stories to tell me, and there were many. The one that has really taken hold in our family lore involves a man who came in one evening. He asked for Charlie to ... Continue Reading

The Problem with Prescribing Behavior

Clients often tell me the advice other people have given them about presentation skills. It’s almost always something that is prescriptive: either “do this” or “don’t do that.”  This advice is small, it’s too granular. It addresses a single behavior, and it does it in a vacuum. Do get rid of your filler words Do ... Continue Reading

Making your own life easier (a generous lifehack)

Have you ever sat down to join a video call and not been able to find the relevant link?  Or pulled up an email to respond to a friend’s invitation only to be flummoxed by the lack of a date or  time (that you could have sworn was there before?) How about this one: have ... Continue Reading

More celebration! Meet Nathan Crocker

Fifteen years ago I met a young actor named Nathan Crocker, who was in the cast of a play I was directing, Shakespeare’s R&J. A few years later, I got to work with Nathan again, when he played Belize in both parts of Angels in America. Typically when you work on a play, the company ... Continue Reading

Celebrating 19 Years

My daughter turns 19 today. Nora is smart, funny, empathetic, and beautiful. She’s also a planner, a questioner, and the only person in my house who is always on time. I can see myself in her, and I can see her dad. But mostly I see her remarkable, interesting self, the same person she has ... Continue Reading