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When It’s Tough to Be Your Own Cheerleader

I hate running. I know there are a lot of people who love it, who find peace and even exultation in running. That sounds great! My experience is more like: “This is terrible, my legs are heavy, I’m so slow, nobody is as slow as I am, this is dumb, when will this be over”—at ... Continue Reading

You Have to Talk so They Can Hear You.

“You have to talk so they can hear you.” A client said this recently. She wasn’t referring to volume, although that’s true, too.  She meant that we all have to think about how to shape and craft our message so we have the best chance of being heard. Who are you talking to? What do they ... Continue Reading

How Do You Show Up?

Our bodies and voices are the vectors for our thoughts and messages. When we talk to other people in person, we use our bodies to do it. And generally, we know exactly what to do without really thinking about it—we angle ourselves toward someone we’re interested in talking to, we make eye contact, we modulate ... Continue Reading

Showing Your Work

When we were in math class, we were asked to “show our work.” How did you arrive at this answer? What’s the thinking that led you to this conclusion? If a student shows their work, the teacher can see their process and help them get back on track if that’s necessary. As leaders, we’re often ... Continue Reading

Why I Don’t Believe in Prescriptive Coaching

My company coaches and leads workshops for people and teams who typically have been in the workforce for a while. Very often, they’ve had other coaching in public speaking skills. I know this in two ways. One, they tell me. “Well, you know we did two days with X company ten years ago, so…” [read: ... Continue Reading

The Cost of Being “Right”

I really like to be right. Anyone who knows me can probably attest to that. This particular characteristic comes from several places: the top two contributors are genetics (hi Mom!), and fear.  Yeah, fear. I try to do all the research, see all the signs, and then weigh in because then I’m less likely to ... Continue Reading

Don’t Put Your Words First

I had a great conversation with a client recently. She is a pastor, so she’s in the unusual position of getting to speak in front of others often. We were discussing how she can hone her preparation style to best create the experience she hopes to for the congregation.  She explained to me that she ... Continue Reading

Managing Your Second Monitor

If you’re like many people, you’ve got a work set-up on your desk that rivals a space shuttle launch. Laptops, keyboards, trackpads, second and third screens all vie for space and for your attention. Quick tip: if your videoconference opens on a screen other than the one where your camera is, you need to move ... Continue Reading

The Business Case for Communication

Ultimately, the point of communication should be to collaboratively advance an idea, a connection, a relationship, a thought, a plan. That’s the rational business case for communication.  In practice, however, we’re often communicating for other reasons. We communicate to further our need for attention, to express judgement, to advance our agenda, to score points. That second ... Continue Reading