My company coaches people to be more effective communicators.
The primary approach we use is intention. Begin with the end in mind—what do I want my audience to feel, think, or do as a result of what I say? Now, what do I need to do to make that happen? How can I reach that goal through my behavior?
Sometimes clients ask if this is manipulative. “If I’m thinking about how I want to make them feel, or that I want to make them do something, aren’t I trying to manipulate them?”
And that’s a good question. Here’s the thing, though—whenever we communicate, we are trying to change something. It could be a small thing, like the location of the salt shaker on the table (“Could you please pass the salt?”), or a big thing (“Will you marry me?”)
So the answer is, we are always communicating in order to influence, to persuade, and to affect other people. But through coaching, we can do it with intention and mindfulness. The words we choose, our rhythm and cadence, when we choose to speak or be silent, whether we look at the person we’re talking to or look away…all of these elements combine to send strong, clear messages. Most of the time, this influencing happens below our conscious radar. And because it’s subconscious, sometimes we end up sending messages we didn’t mean to send.
When you learn about your own communication style and habits, you can start to see how you are most effective, and when you’re not creating what you hope to. That’s the magic sauce; that’s the fundamental key to our coaching. Figure out what the purpose of your communication is, then align your words and behavior to help you achieve that purpose.
Intention, not manipulation.
Learn more about our coaching approach here!
