Each Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok post is set up to collect “likes.”
Let’s say you post something that you feel good about, maybe a photo of a hike you took along with a cute caption. You post it, and a few hours later, there are a few comments and likes. You notice, though, that another friend has a short video of the same hike, and there are scores of enthusiastic responses.
If this happens enough times, it could start to change your behavior. Not just in what you put online, but in how you’re thinking about your life and its like-ability when you aren’t online.
Next time you’re on a hike, you make sure your phone is charged, and as you’re walking, you look for the most photogenic stretch of the trail. You take several videos so you can choose the best one to post. Sure enough, you get dozens of likes and comments.
Positive reinforcement really does train us to do what others like. This is great when we’re training puppies and teaching kids not to throw food across the room. But people in a culture that strives for likes may be less willing to be disagreeable in order to stand up for what they believe in. People who understand their value as a result of social media approbation haven’t exercised the muscle that allows them to step away, stand apart, be on the outside.
Being likable seems like it’s a good thing. But too much of a good thing is too much.
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