Um.
Uh.
Ah.
These are the classic filler words that pepper almost everyone’s speech from time to time. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I’m not that bothered by filler words. Research has shown that most people use them at least occasionally, and that people listening aren’t put off by them.
Unless.
It is definitely possible to have a serious filler-word habit. A recent client, when speaking conversationally, used “um” between each phrase, and she had no idea she was doing it. That falls into “people will notice” territory. What do we do about this?
I have a few suggestions. First, record yourself. We can’t fix something if we’re not really aware of it. When you know you’re going to have the floor in a meeting, set up your smartphone to record your voice. Afterwards, see if you can hear your filler words. When do they occur? What function do you think they have?
Second, slow way down. If you are talking more slowly, you are better able to notice the “um” before you say it, and to simply pause instead. This is harder than it sounds—your speaking pace feels natural to you, and it will feel very strange to slow down. This is a perfect thing to practice when there’s nothing at stake—with your team, or in conversations with your friends and family. Simply slow your rate of speech.
Third, give yourself permission to have the floor. Often, frequent filler words are one way we try to signal to others that we’re still talking, and not to interrupt. Ironically, the “um”s and “ah”s detract from our presence and message so that others are more likely to want to cut us off. Shift your mindset so you can take up the space and time you need to communicate your message.
These three steps may not completely eliminate your filler words, but that’s okay. You’ll have heightened awareness of them as well as tools to start minimizing their effect.
