I heard a great piece of advice I wanted to share with you.
If you’re giving specific criticism, give specific compliments as well.
This gem came from my daughter, Nora. She was describing an interaction with one of her bosses, who uses the “compliment sandwich” technique. You know, when you need to give someone feedback, start by telling them something they’re doing well, then give them the developmental feedback, then give them another compliment. (I have some thoughts about this technique in general, but that’s a post for another day.)
What Nora pointed out was that, when her boss does this, it goes something like, “You’re doing some great work! Now, I want to tell you several very specific things I don’t love about what you’re doing. But, you know, great work!”
The nonspecific nature of the compliments makes them highly suspect. Better to take a little time to find something genuine to compliment, something as specific as the constructive feedback. “I really appreciate that you took the time to help that family find the restroom even though you were busy bussing tables. I noticed that you forgot your apron; can you make sure to get that?”
Yes, it’s more effort. But it’s also much more likely to reach the outcome you want.
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