When I was learning to kayak, the instructor told me, “Don’t look at the rocks. You’ll naturally start to paddle towards whatever you’re looking at, so look at the open water. Don’t look at the rocks.”
We look at the rocks when we’re worried about what may happen. We think, “I might hit those, so let me just keep an eye on them.” Our body follows our eyes, and the next thing we know, bam!
When we’re having a tough conversation, in a job interview, or giving a speech, there are lots of rocks. She may be upset when I give her the feedback. He may say no. I might forget everything. They may hate it. I’m so nervous. I’m definitely going to screw this up.
It’s a familiar instinct to want to watch out for the pitfalls. But in doing that, we’re planting that thought front and center. It’s hard to keep from steering right into it when you can’t see around it.
When you find yourself looking at rocks, search for the open water, the path of no obstacles. I’m prepared. She has always appreciated feedback in the past. My intention is to engage the audience. I’ve got this.
