Tips

Lately, I’ve really gotten into the New York Times game Spelling Bee. It’s a word game: there are six letters arranged around one letter in the center (like a daisy). The object is to make as many words as you can from the seven letters, and each of them must contain the center letter. Usually, … Read more

In many fields, teams work together to achieve something. Could be a software launch, a complex tax return, building a house, or winning a basketball game. In each case, though, lots of things have to get done, and different people are responsible for various tasks. Ultimately, they all have to come together in a timely … Read more

People are almost always thinking about themselves. So they’re not thinking about you. And when you’re most worried that they’re thinking about you? They’re still thinking about themselves. I find this really freeing!  What’s possible when I remember that I’m really the only person thinking about me?

I hate running. I know there are a lot of people who love it, who find peace and even exultation in running. That sounds great! My experience is more like: “This is terrible, my legs are heavy, I’m so slow, nobody is as slow as I am, this is dumb, when will this be over”—at … Read more

See if this feels familiar: You’re in the audience of an enthusiastic presenter. Her slides are pretty good, and she clearly knows her stuff. She drops a lot of knowledge on you. After talking for 20 minutes, she takes a breath and says, “Any questions?” She looks around for a second, scanning the room, then says, … Read more

When people are preparing to go on certain game shows, they practice “buzzing in.” On shows like Jeopardy!, proper buzzer technique can be the difference between winning and never getting to answer a question. In order to compete, you have to be able to hit the buzzer the instant you think you might possibly have … Read more

Many people find silence difficult: a pause of even a few seconds can feel awkward and interminable. As a result, they keep talking, to fill the void. The immediate goal, to avoid silence, is met. But what’s the unintended consequence? The other person can have a hard time getting their voice heard. If this is … Read more

I’ve noticed an interesting tendency among many of the high-achieving, smart people I coach. When they’re telling me what they would like to get out of our coaching relationship, they drop their volume, avert their eyes, and confess, “Sometimes I get really nervous when I have to speak in public. I know it’s stupid, but—“ … Read more

Everybody doesn’t need to be equally good at everything. For some tasks and skills, having a basic competence is sufficient—let’s call that a 6. For other skills, where we really make our money and show our value, we need to be a 10. I don’t need to be good at accounting because i have a … Read more

When you go to a concert, do you want to hear the individual notes, or do you want to hear the music? When we come to your speech, we don’t care about the words, we want to hear your ideas.