Intention

What should we do when our mood is at odds with our intention? We know that we need to focus on the long-term impact of our communication. We know that getting frustrated or irritated won’t advance our cause. But we’re only human. We get annoyed, we get tired of running into the same obstacles, and … Read more

When you’re in the audience, how do you want to feel? Encouraged Motivated Seen Welcomed That your time is being valued Entertained Inspired Engaged That you’re in good hands Connected Convinced When you’re the one speaking to the audience, remember this.  I’m taking a sabbatical from writing new blog posts. You’ll be seeing some re-runs … Read more

When I was in my early 20s and living in New York, I made extra money by working as a reader for the Young Playwrights Project. This nonprofit taught playwriting in middle and high schools, and they needed lots and lots of people to read the plays and provide feedback to these budding artists.  Some … Read more

I had a great conversation recently with someone who is doing some communication skills coaching, and is interested in doing more. This was a get-to-know-you chat on both sides, with the unspoken understanding that I may be able to hire her at some point in the future.  I asked her to tell me a bit … Read more

I got to spend some time last week with a wonderful team of people doing incredibly cool work. We were talking about my favorite topic: intentional communication! This team has chosen to really engage with the idea of intention, and to work it into their culture. In fact, they begin meetings by asking what intentions … Read more

About six months ago, one of my long-time clients left her corporate job to set out on her own as a freelancer. Now, every time my client talks to her mom, she gets this question: “How many hours are you working this week?” Mom-questions can have a way of getting under a person’s skin, and … Read more

Esse quam videri To be, rather than to seem This is North Carolina’s state motto, and I’ve always liked it. Realness and authenticity, rather than posturing. What’s at the heart, not on the surface. The motto speaks to trustworthiness and truth. I hope I won’t sound too grand when I say that this Latin epigraph … Read more

My friend Rachel described a recent email she got this way: “The words were polite, but you could feel her rolling her eyes while she typed it.” I’ve received that email. Heck, I’ve probably written that email. Rachel was laughing as she described it, but we all know what it feels like to be on … Read more

If you’re giving a presentation, answer this question: What will change for my audience as a result of what I’m going to say? How will their lives be different? If you can’t answer this, you need to go back to the drawing board. The presenter’s cardinal sin is to give a talk that is for … Read more

Helping our clients think about intention, or the outcome you hope to achieve with what you say, is key to our coaching work.  There are two perfect times to use intention. One: before you begin a high-stakes communication. This could be a speech, a negotiation, or a difficult conversation, anything where you might be nervous … Read more