Like many of us, I’m spending a lot of time with people who are in other places. One of the best things about this is that so many people are reaching out, looking for connection, making time to sit down and talk together.
Being present when you’re not physically present is hard. I have a couple of thoughts to share with you about how to maximize your presence.
1) Do one thing at a time. It can be tempting to scroll through email or check a text when you’re on a Zoom or phone call, but single-tasking is the name of the game when it comes to being present.
2) Make the implicit explicit. Tell people how you feel, using descriptive words.
“I love seeing your face.”
“It makes me happy to connect with you.”
“I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had a hard week.”
Being present in 2D means we miss a lot of subtle cues; use words that do a lot of emotional work to make up the difference.
3) Listen and reflect back.
“I’m hearing you say…”
“Let me make sure I understand…”
“When you say that, do you mean…”
Give space for everyone speaking to refine and clarify.
It can be hard to feel truly satisfied after a virtual connection. Slowing down and leaning in can help make the difference.
